Friday, April 13, 2007

A '?' day

Today was a ‘question mark’ day.
One of those days where you keep questioning yourself as to why you are doing whatever you are doing.

Questions keep shooting out of your mind like bullets from a machine gun.
And the most difficult part is that you have to face these bullets alone, no army, no team. Try dodging them and you’ll see that they boomerang right back at you. There’s no escape, no refuge, the questions seem to work on the same principle as that of guided missiles.

Why did you join this company?
Why did you take up engineering?
Why are you working on such an outdated technology?
Why can’t you be technically strong in whatever junk you are doing?
Why are you still sticking on to this field even after you know its bad?
Why are you only mediocre in whatever you do?
Why cannot you make a firm decision on what you want to be?
When will you learn, gain knowledge and be a true champ at everything you do?
How difficult is the other stream you are trying to enter?
Will you survive if you take a plunge or will you drown?
Why can’t you dedicate even 1 hour everyday to improve yourself?
Why is this code looking endless?
Why is the logic appearing so undecipherable?
Why is the cafeteria playing music which is so loud and lousy?
Why isn’t anyone complaining against the bad quality of the food?
Why is it that everybody seems to be happy with the rip off prices?
Why is this cocky rotund clown my manager?
Why is he questioning me on my performance when he does not seem to know, in any sense, the word’s very meaning?
What qualities did they see in him to make him the manager?
Why are all the clocks appearing to run so slow?
Why can’t they function in the way you want them to?

At the end of the day you find yourself swimming against a high tide of questions. You are trying to reach the other side. But then you realize there isn’t a destination at all. Swim or sink. Its your call.